Dear Friends and Famdamily,

Look, let’s address this right out of the gate: Phuket is not pronounced the way you just read that word.

It wasn’t until a couple of days before our departure that I mentioned to an acquaintance that we would be traveling to Thailand.

“Oh, how great,” they commented. “I spent about a month in Poo-ket, Thailand a few years ago.”

And I thanked my lucky stars that they taught me an important pronunciation lesson before I embarrassed myself (or worse) in public.

​

---

​

Pete’s Travel Diary

Phuket Island, Phuket Town, and Patong Beach

DISCLAIMER: The following story isn’t profane, but it does reference Patong’s, well, large number of female “masseuses.” You might want to screen this and skip ahead to the beach photo if you’re sharing these stories with children.

As many misadventures do, ours began with some miscommunication. Fortunately, we found this hilarious after the fact.

Thailand has something for everyone. For us, it is good food, sunsets, temples, and jungle greenery. For shadier characters, there is Patong Beach and its sundry offerings on the island of Phuket. The island of Phuket is not to be confused with the town of Phuket itself, which by all reports is a fine-sounding place.

Perry had mentioned Phuket to me and I was unaware that there was a distinction between the island and the town. Later Perry mentioned we would be specifically staying in Patong Beach, a town on the island of Phuket, and my spidey senses about put me through the window due to Patong being referenced in a course on HIV/AIDS I had taken in college.

Patong has a questionable reputation attached to it due to its booming drug and sex trade, which becomes abundantly clear if you walk the streets at night (though it is not so booming at this time due to the COVID pandemic’s impact on tourism).

Walking the streets from the bus stop, we were immediately on guard and vigilant. Folks would approach passersby with drugs and the “masseuses'' would be lined up outside on display. Being the tallest person in Patong, it took nothing more than a classic raised eyebrow, over-the-glasses, glower (a look I was on the receiving end enough to master from my 6th-grade teacher when I was up to tomfoolery) to disperse ne-erdowells attempting to conduct business with me. However, the massage matriarchs were not so easily dissuaded from trying to sell their services, despite the darkest scowls of my wife walking beside me. Queue the beacon of hilarity.

As we walked down the street a “masseuse” attempted to get my attention by gesturing scandalously with her leg. I promptly shook my head.

She then shrugged, unphased, and gestured to a strapping young man standing next to her while looking at me with all of the cunning of a car salesman. I again shook my head NO, now in dismay.

Perry found this exchange both offensive and hilarious. The businesswoman's ability to pivot in an attempt to make a sale earned a tip of the cap from the business-savvy Perry, and nothing more.

​

---

​

Perry’s Travel Diary

Relaxing in Phuket

So thanks to the number of solicitors mostly harassing Pete on the streets of Patong, we spent most of our time in Phuket either laying by the pool or laying on the beach.

We needed the break, and frankly, we had no interest in seeing any more temples or towns or tourist attractions that week.

If you’re feeling more adventurous, it appeared that parasailing, surfing, and jetskiing were all very popular on the beach. There were a number of vendors trying to sell you on any and all of the above.

(And for the sake of clarity: It was not unsafe to walk around the beach or the streets Patong. There were just a lot of people trying to sell you things, which gets annoying.)

We did nothing, and it felt glorious.

Thai Cooking Class!

After nearly a week of being incredibly lazy in Phuket, I decided that we needed to do something before departing. And, if I’m being totally honest, I was starting to feel very sad about leaving my beloved Spicy Basil (and Pad Thai…) behind when we flew from Phuket to Kuala Lumpur.

The solution? I booked us a cooking class!

You’ll find a variety of cooking classes in Phuket (and most other tourist destinations in Thailand). Most last for a half or full day. We were looking for something a bit shorter and more budget-friendly - which is how I found Pum Thai Restaurant and Cooking School. In addition to half- and full-day classes, Pum’s offers 30-minute/one entree and 45-minute/two entree classes.

Pete and I each signed up for the two-entree class, cooking ourselves a total of four dishes that we shared for dinner.

We were both floored by how helpful, friendly, and enthusiastic the people were at Pum’s. The class started by learning a few Thai words (including how to introduce ourselves and how to translate Thai food words) and common kitchen ingredients.

Then, we moved to the kitchen where we were taught how to prepare our food. The staff cheered us on and clapped as we cooked. You could do no wrong. They were so very happy!

I learned how important it is to use light brown soy sauce in your fried rice. Apparently, my at-home fried rice tastes awful because I have been using Kikkoman.

We had lots of fun and our food was delicious. We had leftovers (a rarity - we found most portion sizes to be a bit small throughout Southeast Asia) to take home with us. Our favorites were the cashew chicken and green curry.

We got to keep our cookbook so we can try to recreate the dishes at home.

We highly recommend Pum’s. Phuket Island is still reeling from the effects of COVID on tourism, so if you or someone you know is headed to Phuket, I know that Pum’s would love (and deserves) your patronage. If you don't want to take a cooking class, Pum's is also a regular restaurant where you can eat dinner.

​

---

​

Itinerary

Hotel

We stayed at the Holiday Inn Express Patong ($43/night). We paid cash since the rate was reasonable. Breakfast was included. The room was beautiful and furnished as all Holiday Inn Expresses are. We spent most of our time at the also-beautiful pool.

This hotel is also home to a number of stray cats. Our favorite was a tiny young girl who we nicknamed Nibbler due to her interest in taking nibbles of our breakfast. After about four days, Nibbler decided to hop up onto my lounge chair and sit next to me like we were BFFs. I felt like I had won a prize.

We think Nibbler was pregnant with a kitten and hope that someone on the internet will send us an update about her.

Alternative, family-friendly option: The Hilton Garden Inn is similarly priced at around $50/night but is located in the more resort-like and family-friendly Bang Tao area. Our only view of this hotel and town was from our bus back to the airport, but from what we saw, it was a prettier and calmer area than Patong but still had a fantastic beach.

Food

Food is more expensive for lower quality in Phuket than the rest of Thailand, as you would expect in any resort island location.

We found Grab food delivery to be an economical option since the round-trip cost of a taxi or Grab to the restaurant was usually less than the delivery fee.

For cheap and delicious food, there is a street food market located here. They had food that was just as good (if not better) than the restaurants for the lowest price in town.

Transportation

We used the Phuket Smart Bus to get from the airport to Patong Beach (and back). At 100 baht (~$3) per person one-way, this is the cheapest option. The ride is about one hour, but you may need to wait up to one hour for the bus to depart. You can pay more to travel in a group shuttle or private taxi if you want the convenience.

We stayed in Patong Beach for the duration of our trip and did not use public transportation to get anywhere else. You can use the SmartBus to get to the other villages, but do your research - I’m not sure if there are other options.

​Grab also works throughout the island.
​

---

​

Perry’s Travel Tip of the Week

A website to get you from Point A to Point B

Google Maps is fine for directions, but it is limited to private car and public transportation options. Most private point-to-point shuttles - like the Phuket SmartBus - will not appear. There usually isn’t any price information, and you can forget about flights.

​Rome2Rio is the best website I’ve found to compare your travel options between cities. If you aren’t sure whether to drive, fly, or take a train or bus, Rome2Rio will outline the duration and cost of all your options. It even includes ferries.

I use Rome2Rio when planning our travel between cities. If I need more information, I can either follow Rome2Rio’s links to the transit company’s website or Google the options to find other travelers’ experiences.

​

---

​

If you enjoyed this newsletter, we’d love it if you would share us with your friends.

​
​

All our love,

Pete and Perry

​
​